The One Where My Cell Phone Sends My Son Running Out of the House in Fear


I am an old fashioned girl.  If you want to get a hold of me, your best bet is calling my land line.  Yes, we have an actual land line (b/c my cell phone is typically buried at the bottom of my purse and the battery is quite often dead).

My cell plan is simply that - a cell phone.  While I can send and receive texts it costs a pretty penny.  I don’t even want to think about what it would cost me to get online with it.  No twitter or face book updates coming from my phone.   

In fact, I receive texts so infrequently that today when I received one, my son immediately ran onto the back deck.  He had no idea what it was and thought it was a fire alarm (what a good boy).  If that doesn’t say something about the infrequency of my texting, I am not sure what does.

I have one friend who texts me.  Nothing makes me feel more like a middle age woman then when I try to have a conversation with her via text messaging.   I might be turning 30 next month, but if you were observing me during our exchanges, you would swear I was pushing 60. 

IMG_8667She’ll send me a little paragraph of info and then I will start hen pecking her back.  I promise it takes me at least 10 minutes to type out… “I’ll be at the mall at 4.”  I will search for a good 3 minutes to find that stinkin’ apostrophe only to give up and write out “I will” instead. 

I will no sooner hit send on my carefully scripted message when 30 seconds later I get a good 4 sentence reply complete with smiley faces.   Smiley faces?  Really?  Where’s she get off with the fancy schmancy punctuation? 

I then ignore my hubby and kids as I scramble to peck out my response.   Feeling like a grandma I am completely unable to talk and push the buttons on my phone at the same time.   And it’s not like she is oh so much younger than me.  I’ve got a mere 2 years on her.  That’s it.  But you would swear it was at least 20.

How about you?  Are you txt’n like a teenie bopper, dialing like a Grandma, or somewhere in the middle?


  1. Ur bro & I r txtng 27/7!

    In all seriousness, I think I text more than physically speak over my phone. Jordan and I have an unlimited texting plan, as we communicate primarily via text through the day, and most of our friends & family text us regularly!

  2. I texted a lot anyone other than my husband, but Oh my is it hard... My phone does not have a keyboard (thats how they type fast and have smiles) and I refuse to abbreviate. But I have unlimited texts not unlimited minutes so thats the way to go.

  3. Scott (Crystal's Hubby)Thursday, June 11, 2009

    Ok, seriously, you should have seen her typing that message on her phone for the picture in this post. The battery is dying so she's feeling all this pressure to be quick and, well, lets just say she was anything but quick. Didn't even need punctuation. Sad.

    (FYI - I have never actually texted - ever...)

  4. I could have written that post myself. I carry the phone for emergencies only. Texting baffles my already strained brain!

  5. i've actually been stopped by strangers in public who comment on my ridiculously fast texting abilities. i have it on the authority of 16 year olds that i'm the "fastest texter in the world." it's not really a talent i should be that proud of, but i hate talking on the phone more than the average person, so it's a skill i've well honed. i've been known to have 4 hour texting marathons just to avoid a phone conversation.

  6. I'm somewhat in between. But I have an aunt 2 years younger than me (more like a sister) and she is super fast. That sounds like us. I'll spend 2 minutes typing out 4 words and she's texting me back in like 30 seconds with a 20 word sentence. My brother's pretty fast too.

  7. I'm somewhere in the middle too. I text with frequency, but I'm not skilled at it. We get a phone upgrade at the end of this summer and I'm really hoping for a fancy schmancy phone with a would make texting so much easier for me.

    Scott's comment cracked me up. How funny. I wish I could have seen you "hen pecking" at the buttons! And I totally think they should have an apostrophe! Drives my English loving brain bonkers!

    Good Post!

  8. I think I am somewhere in the middle. We have reached the point where we use our cell phones more than our land line. I have a limited texting plan, mostly because other people text me and I was tired of the high rates. I do text some, but I VERY RARELY use abbreviations. They annoy me. (Sorry to all those who use and love them, I'm just being honest.) I don't have a keyboard on my phone, but I am not as slow as a snail either... :)

  9. I was not saying that YOU are slow as a snail...just trying to explain where I fall in the text typing spectrum. :)

  10. Who said Grandmas can't text?!?!?!

  11. Oh, Crystal, I've been that girl looking for the apostrophe for 10 minutes! It's just too much pressure. One more reason that smartphones with full keyboard are the best (for me).

  12. My beloved Palm Centro had a full keyboard on it and I was able to text away with ease - but the phone I got to replace it did not. So now I use the auto finish function and sometimes forget to pay attention to make sure it's typing out the right word. I send a friend a msg the other day asking what her "shamps" were. I assume I meant plans? Not sure how I ended up with shamps. Just an FYI - I'm sure your phone has the dictionary/autofinish function as well and it does make it easier. Also, you just add a period where the apostrophe should go and finish typing and it switches it to an apostrophe automatically. Does that even make sense? But I do have the friend who texts back seconds later with a paragraph after I took 5 minutes to type a few lines!

  13. i confess, i'm a texter now. it's not my fault, though. i never wanted to be. but everyone here in TX can't live w/o their keyboard phones so i use my auto speller and text away. like Megan, i often times send odd messages by mistake. oh well, i figure they know what i mean. "good" and "home" are the same 4 numbers on the pad, so sometimes i ask Jim when he thinks he'll be good. either way, really, it's a good question.

    great post. i think everyone can relate. though, maybe not to the running on the porch for fear of my life part. but i got a good chuckle out of it!

  14. I'm a txt'n teenie bopper for sure!

    Although I have, in the last few months, upgraded to a cell phone with a full QWERTY keyboard, which makes texting faster and easier (even though I thought it would be more difficult). And I no longer abbreviate every word I text!
    I love texting, because I don't have to respond immediately. I can wait a couple minutes, type out my text really fast, put the phone down and go back to dinner.
    Of course, I am only 21, so I'm definitely of the texting generation. I've had years of practice! :)

    Getting online from my phone, on the other hand..... I choose not to go there!

  15. How funny!!! I'm with you....I've never texted...

  16. "Middle aged woman"?!?!

    You've gotta long way to go, li'l Sistah!

    Let me tell ya' about "middle age"...ok?

    Well...for one thing...I...ah...wait...what was I suppose to tell you??

    (Blog Commentator's Note-my wife tells me mommies oftentimes lose their memories or feel as if they are losing their you faithful younger mommies out there don't take my joke to heart and think you're prematurely aging if you're forgetting where you put your sanity :) )


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