The One Where I’m Tempted to Move to Florida


I hear his cries and stumble out of bed.  Cradling my son in my arms I make my way down the hall and to the couch where I sit to nurse him.  My eyes are burning, begging me to let them close again.  Instead I grab my phone and start scrolling through face book trying to keep myself awake while my little guy eagerly chugs down on his 4 am meal.  Not much has changed on face book since I last checked at 1 am.  Oddly, most of my friends aren’t up between 1 and 4 am and if they are, they aren't doing anything they want posted on face book for the world to see. 

So, I grab the remote to see if there is something to entertain me keep me awake in these early morning hours.  One night I struck gold and found a rerun of The Cosby Show playing on Nick At Nite (when did I become old enough for the shows I watched as a kid to be played on Nick At Nite)? 

This night however I found myself watching an infomercial on Space Bags.  Have you seen these things?  It’s amazing how much you can fit into them once you vacuum up the air.  As I sat there watching, they just kept making the offer sound better and better.  “But wait, if you order now, we’ll double the amount of bags… that’s right 4 space bags for only $19.95…”  the longer I sat, the more they kept throwing in, a nifty organizer to put the bags in, another set of bags…. I found myself way more tempted than I care to admit to “pick up the phone and call now.”  It sounded like such a great deal!

I have decided that these infomercials are played at 4am for that very reason… they want to prey on you while your weak.  When your too tired to even change the remote from a 30 minute commercial, you are also too tired to think clearly enough to make a purchase.  Thankfully, I was also too tired to hunt down my purse and credit card info. 

As I relayed the amazing deal to my husband the next day he chuckled and said it reminded him of the property in Florida. 

“Property in Florida?” 

Didn’t know the Circus had beach front property in the Sunshine State?

Well, we don’t… but boy was I tempted about 6 yrs ago.  Again I was up in the middle of the night nursing, (different son, same couch)… this time the guy from CHiPs (a show I watched on Nick at Nite as a child) was on telling me about a great deal for ocean front property in Florida.  It sounded amazing and the price was unbelievable!  I sat for longer than I care to admit trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong with this neighborhood and why wouldn’t we want to move there right away…it was all I could do not to run down the hall and wake Scott to check it out. 

When I told him the next day, I tried to tell him in a “ha ha, you’ll never believe what I saw on tv last night” way but couldn’t hide my enthusiasm as I relayed the location and price of this property.  

We stayed put in Maryland. 

Careful what you watch at 4am… you could find yourself packing all your belongings in a space bag and moving to Florida! 


  1. Lol It has been a craptastic day and this the first time I have laughed. Thanks! BTW You can buy space bags at walmart, target or bed bath and beyond. We have them since we have zero storage. They actually work really well.

  2. Oh boy...I usually don't find myself suckered into infomercials very often, but there was one the other day during rest time that both Noah and I were quite ready to pick up the phone to call and was this organizing thing that folded up into a binder type thing but when you unfolded it there were all these pockets for your paperwork and folders...and it came in 3 "designer colors!"

    I wish I had nursing at 3am as the excuse for why I almost placed my order! But nope, just a sucker for something that claims to organize me!

    I've missed the Circus that's for sure! Hope Cosby is back on soon so you don't make any crazy purchases tonight!

  3. This was a hilarious post from beginning to end! But I'm glad you didn't move to FL : )

  4. Haha, great post! Good thing we have our husbands to keep us grounded sometimes! :)

    I'm usually up around 1- 4am your time, so if you need someone to talk you down from infomercials, just send me a message! ;)

  5. For me it was "Slim in Six" and "P90X" infomercials that got me during the 4 AM feeding. : )

  6. Hey! I was up with you then! Only I was not nursing, the little boy I was holding was (is) very feverish... Glad you did not buy Swampland in Florida. I would miss you.

  7. Haha! The mind works in mysterious ways when you are exhausted! Perhaps sleeping with your baby would help you to get more rest? I know some people have a hard time sleeping with their newborns, but I found I sleep much better. Might be worth trying!

  8. Infomercials might be deceiving, but I have to admit that I am a big space bag fan :)

  9. I love this post!! I am often a sucker for these infomercials (well, not anymore-- I think I've bought 2 things in the past and learned my lesson :)). However I am almost always a little bit tempted. You suddenly feel this pressure that "IF YOU DON'T BUY NOW, YOU WILL MISS OUT on the greatest thing ever invented!" The last 2 times I was so close to buying something but simply researched it ahead of time, and realized it wasn't REALLY what it was cracked up to be (imagine that! :)

  10. OMG this post is great!! I literally laughed out loud!

  11. When Sadie was a newborn I bought Mike a Magic Bullet for Father's Day via middle-of-the-night-infomercial.


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