Facing One of my Biggest Fears

I don't like heights.  Never have, but my trip to Mexico definitely didn't help.

When I was pregnant with my son I developed an irrational fear of driving.  I was driving over a bridge one day and felt light headed, which triggered a complete panic attack.  After that I had trouble driving the 5 miles to work each day.  My dear husband and sympathetic friends taxied me around for a few months.  Eventually I got over it, with the exception of that bridge.  Took several months before I'd drive over it again.  Eventually I got to the point where I could drive over the bridge, but 5 years later if there is any sign of traffic I'll drive 20 minutes out of my way to avoid sitting on the bridge.  Seems my fear of heights is couple with a bit of claustrophobia.  What I fear is being stuck on the bridge with no where to go.

The fear hasn't inhibited me too much.   I drive over the bridge several times a week.  I've even driven over the Bay Bridge (4.5 miles long) a few times.  Of course every time I have had my good friends praying for me and several times I have called a friend to chat with on my cell phone as I cross the bridge.  If I am not the one driving, I'm typically fine.

trafficThis was really put to the test last week.  One of my best friends was getting married on the Eastern Shore.   She called that morning to let us know there had been a fatal accident on the bridge and the east bound bridge was closed for the day.  We left 3.5 hours before the wedding.   We sat in this as it took 2 hours to go 10 miles.  I was literally sitting, not moving at all, at the apex of the bridge.   See the writing on the side of the bridge?  I took this picture to prove that we weren't moving At.All. Remember my fear?  Of heights?  Of bridges?  Of being stuck on bridges?  Here they all were in one big incident...stuck at the top of the bridge in the middle of the bay, not moving at all.

yup we are not moving at all

I am happy to say I didn't freak out.  I thanked my husband a million times for driving.  I am fairly certain I'd' have freaked out if I was .  I did get a little crazy when he took that top picture in his side mirror.  "Put your hands back on the wheel!  I'm freaking out here!"  (even though we weren't actually moving... I still for some reason spazzed just a few times)

But, we made it!  We were actually there 30 minutes before the wedding started and due to the historic accident, they postponed the wedding an additional 30 minutes to allow for more guests to arrive.  It was a beautiful ceremony and a truly fun reception.

I'm so thankful I didn't let my fears keep me from this special event.   Fear can do that, I know from first hand experience.  It can paralyze you.  I am so thankful that God has gotten me past that fear to the point that when I heard about the traffic, my first thought was, "how early do we have to leave", not "there is no way I can sit on that bridge".  God is so good!


  1. ugh. i just can't imagine. that darn bay bridge. btw, could you taken a different picture? you know the one with the writing? the one that makes the bridge look like it's falling apart? yes, i noticed. :)

  2. You poor thing! I'm glad you were able to lean on God to help you overcome your fear. :)

  3. I think (next time) you should tell yourself, "Thank goodness there's no poo all over this bridge!"

  4. Oh...I forgot to mention (I was just SOO glad there was no poo in ANY of these photos that I got a little distracted...) back in the day I use to drive with "Big Lou" and he had a huge fear of bridges. He'd panic a bit on small ones but he'd let me drive his 72 Chevelle...and a few years later his 77 Camaro over the Bay Bridge whenever we drove to OC from Baltimore.

    He was also a chain-smoker.

    Maybe smoking might help if its too weird imaging the Bay Bridge covered with poo!

  5. I am so proud of you and your reliance on God your Savior.

  6. Hay I did get back to you, I can feel for you as I am afraid of high places. Saw the GC of Colorado with my back & hands up against the rocks. Good for you glad you made it.


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