Deja Vu


My kids have gotten the Minecraft bug.  Started first with my oldest son.  He shared the obsession with my 6 year old daughter… and then even my child who doesn’t really like to play games, joined in the fight against zombies.  

Yesterday they finally figured out how to do multi player, which means they can all play at the same time on various different wireless devices in the same world.  

Giggles could be heard as they found each other walking around in their worlds.  Hooray I thought to myself.  I can get a few things done while they happily play together.

hahaha… this of course was short lived.  Did you know you can hit someone in mine craft?  Suddenly I find myself refereeing real fights in an imaginary world.  As the fights escalate and tears begin to fall, I have to put a halt on my semi productive kitchen clean up and try to get to the bottom of the problem. 

“She is ruining my world.  She dug a ditch and it took me forever to repair it.”

“He won’t let me in… He doesn’t let me build anything, he says I can’t cut down any trees.” 

Insert Mom who has never played this game ever…Though I have read up a little on it, as I try to dig deeper, find out the real problem… more than just cutting down trees and stealing stuff from peoples treasure chests… more than not letting her into his world or her destroying his house. 

It reminded me of a fight I had to referee years ago… they were probably 3 and 5… tears were flowing, accusations being flung back and forth and I recall vividly spending what felt like forever working out who did what to whom, who needed to apologize, who needed to seek forgiveness… and only after 30 minutes or so of this hard core mediation, did I realize this fight was over an IMAGINARY toy.  When the child finally uncurled her first I realized for the first time, there was nothing in it… it was all over a pretend object.

Here we are again, I thought…. fighting a fight over something that isn’t even real. 

It doesn’t matter though. Because the sin was very much real.  The way they handled their frustration and hurt, that revealed just as much about the state of their heart as if the trees were real and the ditch did need to be repaired.  

So, we talked it out… one on one, one on two, one on three.  We talked about how we treat each other, in a game or in life.  I led them in reluctantly confessing their sin and seeking forgiveness.  And then I took Minecraft away from them for the rest of the day as a consequence. 

Whew… some kind of recess…. I kind of laughed as I realized the cyclical nature of their playing and fighting…

Hopefully though these battles are lessons in repentance and grace.  Hopefully now while they fight over pretend toys or imaginary worlds, they will learn how to confess, repent, and seek forgiveness.  Hopefully they learn that their relationship matters more than being right, being successful and getting their own way.  Hopefully these practice sessions on peace making will take hold so when they are older and the stakes are higher, they will know how to navigate these waters because they’ve been down them many times before.


  1. Great lessons! Great example for the Peacemaking Ministries.
    Praying that it will make a difference in their lives for the future.

  2. with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forebearance to one another in love, being diligent to present the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4: 2-3
    Peaceful communication is so challenging for ADULTS in some situations. How wonderful, how meaningful, that you took the time to work through their battle, step by step, so they could experience a process that honors God and each other. Unless your children are different from mine, this won't be the last time...but it IS a significant time. They now have the beginning of a foundation of understanding of how to discuss and forgive. Time well spent, Crystal. (When I see you, I will share a story about three adult brothers in a competitive situation that I witnessed a year or so ago. It made me smile, warmed my heart and enabled me to give thanks to the Lord.) Carry on, Mom!

  3. I've been thinking so much about this lately - heart issues vs. obedient-only apologies - as my boys are showing their sin natures more and more. I have so much to learn!!


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