Life At The Circus

Over 2 and a half years ago our oldest son started BJJ.  For several months I’d sit in the waiting room and watch his class or wait for his class.  And during that time, I saw a women’s fitness class that took place… either during or before or after… at any rate, I’d get glimpses of the women working out in there.  And when I first saw them I thought, “Oh my goodness… those ladies are insane.  I could never do that!”   And then sometimes this thought would creep in, “Man, I WISH I could do what they do.”  But seriously, never.  I am the girl who quit softball at 8 b/c I didn’t like getting sweaty.  I’m the girl who “played” lacrosse in high school, but would sit out on push ups when the coach wasn’t looking… I was in it to have fun with my friends.  Competitive I was not.   I ran for awhile.  I even did a few half marathons and the Annapolis 10 miler.  I was proud of myself for finishing, because it was literally the ...

Some of my kids birthdays hit me harder than others.  Each year I feel the passing of time in a way I never felt for myself.  Each year I am washed with a wave of nostalgia and spend a good amount of time looking back at pictures of that precious child through the years. Each year I do my best to shower my child with love and attention and all of their favorites b/c we spend 364 days reiterating to our children that life is not all about them, and on their birthday it is mostly about them.  But, still some birthdays just pull at my Momma’s heart more than others.  And 10 is one of the ones that gets me. How is my second born 10 already?  How has an entire decade gone by since she came into our world ?  I’ve caught myself looking at her lately, letting time stand still in the midst of the ordinary and just noticing her.  I watched her walking out of the gym with her team mates.  Hair in a messy bun, chalk on her face and hands, slowly making h...